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Everyone takes classes in school for various academic subjects, but also for useful skills like shop and home economics. Unfortunately, no one ever teaches young people how to present themselves in important business or social settings, despite the fact that these can be tremendously important in determining eventual success in life. Fortunately, all those under-educated graduates can put a capstone on their years by reading books on small talk.
There will always be those among us with an in-born talent for breezy conversation, people who always seem to be able to captivate without ever offending. Frequently, such people turn out to have been raised in elite circumstances, which demonstrates that these books provide the general public with a skill that had usually been a province of the country club set. After all, one of the advantages of an elite education has always been about the inculcation of a manner rather than academic excellence as such.
By contrast, people who are rising in life might be smart and hard workers, but lacking in social graces. A recurring them in literature and film is the person at the upscale party who could not be uninvited because he has too much money, but who is generally disliked. One of the ways this character is identified is by his being too coarse in his or her manners and too intense in speaking.
There are numerous circumstances in which conversational skills can make all the difference. One of the most obvious of these is dating, a broad area of life that includes not only actual dates but social occasions in which potential lovers might happen to be in attendance. This area also includes chance encounters in which time is limited, and in which it is imported just the right impression, and perhaps not one minute in which to make it.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
It is equally important not to overlook those who do not obviously offer whatever one is looking for. Socialize broadly and unhurriedly, enjoying all types of people, not just the best placed or prettiest. Conversational skills are about building networks of associates, and one measures success at party by whether one gets invited to others.
There will always be those among us with an in-born talent for breezy conversation, people who always seem to be able to captivate without ever offending. Frequently, such people turn out to have been raised in elite circumstances, which demonstrates that these books provide the general public with a skill that had usually been a province of the country club set. After all, one of the advantages of an elite education has always been about the inculcation of a manner rather than academic excellence as such.
By contrast, people who are rising in life might be smart and hard workers, but lacking in social graces. A recurring them in literature and film is the person at the upscale party who could not be uninvited because he has too much money, but who is generally disliked. One of the ways this character is identified is by his being too coarse in his or her manners and too intense in speaking.
There are numerous circumstances in which conversational skills can make all the difference. One of the most obvious of these is dating, a broad area of life that includes not only actual dates but social occasions in which potential lovers might happen to be in attendance. This area also includes chance encounters in which time is limited, and in which it is imported just the right impression, and perhaps not one minute in which to make it.
Business also affords a variety of circumstances in which one's ability to make conversation might make all the difference. There are any number of wealthy people whose big break came when they charmed the right person during a random elevator ride. There are also those obvious occasions, such as a job interview, or entertaining a potential client.
Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
It is equally important not to overlook those who do not obviously offer whatever one is looking for. Socialize broadly and unhurriedly, enjoying all types of people, not just the best placed or prettiest. Conversational skills are about building networks of associates, and one measures success at party by whether one gets invited to others.
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